Aeowulf
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Paranoid about everything!
#1
I’m paranoid about pretty much everything in life. Talking feels unsafe to me. Everyone else outside my mom and healthcare team wants to harm me. Thence why I suffer greatly from social anxiety, awkwardness and phobia. I’m also defensive-aggressive in my communication mode. Why online it doesn’t bother me at all? Because I deem it harmless and safe to me. And you’re too far away to do anything to me physically. This is generalized paranoia to the extreme. I also suffer from selective mutism because I want to choose whom I talk to and what to say. I wanna be in full control over everything otherwise I feel unsafe. Yes, I’m mentally dysfunctional and I’m trying to improve my social skills by going to group activities and therapies and so far, I like it and have even made a few female friends. I’ll also avoid other human beings like the plague because I think they’re all dangerous to me and threaten my very existence. Those are coping mechanism and automatic responses I’ve developed with my social and sexual traumas from my early life.
#2
I'm very paranoid as well. Whenever I'm out of the house I think people are watching me. It's really bad in busy stores like Walmart. I suspect everyone! Sad
My Youtube ~ Personal Vlog & Random Musings
#3
My paranoia is side-effect of my PTSD. I am SUPER paranoid.
#4
(11-01-2020, 07:10 PM)Aeowulf Wrote: My paranoia is side-effect of my PTSD. I am SUPER paranoid.

I'm sorry man.  Are you in treatment for your PTSD?
My Youtube ~ Personal Vlog & Random Musings
#5
(11-22-2020, 10:02 PM)zoldos Wrote: I'm sorry man.  Are you in treatment for your PTSD?

Nope. I feel like I would get more angry going to treatment. I absolutely loathe cars and traffic. I would arrive pissed off. Then having to deal with people... that's a bad mix.

I just try to avoid people as best I can.
#6
I feel you man. Cars don't bother me, but people do. I'm a total Misanthrope as well. Chatting on-line makes me nervous too. :(
My Youtube ~ Personal Vlog & Random Musings
#7
(11-22-2020, 10:30 PM)zoldos Wrote: I feel you man.  Cars don't bother me, but people do.  I'm a total Misanthrope as well.  Chatting on-line makes me nervous too. Sad

Oh, that sucks. Undecided

Thankfully the screen is the one thing that allows me to disconnect. It sounds terrible but the keyboard/screen barrier helps me disconnect from it on a stress/paranoia level.

Weird stuff.
#8
Yes agreed. I find it much easier to talk on-line. IM chat doesn't make me as nervous as it used to, so that's good. One of my old therapists told me that "on-line" friends aren't the same and I need to have more "real life" friends. Okay, you clearly don't comprehend my mental illness.
My Youtube ~ Personal Vlog & Random Musings
#9
(11-23-2020, 03:43 PM)zoldos Wrote: One of my old therapists...

Honestly, some therapists absolutely SUCK! Like, cool, you got certified to do the job, but how can you be this oblivious to people's actual conditions? My wife has had some that made things WORSE! Another reason i don't like them.

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